It’s official…I am now the big 3-0. Welcome to the club as everyone says. Turning 30 never really scared me like it does a lot of other people. I look back on the past 30 years and am proud of the person I have become given the situations I have endured. I wanted to take a minute to share some “wisdom” from the past 3 decades of my life. Hopefully these thoughts can help you as you embark on your journey through life as well.
- 30 IS JUST A NUMBER… I’ve never felt my age and remember several times when I have forgotten my actual age… am I 27?
- FORGET TO BE EMBARRASSED. The only thing anyone should be embarrassed about is not being true to themselves. Who cares what other people really think? As long as you are being the best version of you then don’t worry about them.
- BE REAL! The older I get, the more honest and real I become and sometimes this scares me. Filtering has become crucial.
- SELF-AWARENESS is one of the most important life skills you can learn.
- I am a people pleaser and often lose sight that THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO PLEASE IS YOURSELF!
- IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO! Not only should you say no to others, but sometimes you need to say no to yourself. This goes back to discipline which I have realized I lack very much.
- You also need to SAY YES TO YOURSELF. Why do I deprive myself of certain things that will better my life. Example, taking time for me. It’s absolutely true that you cannot pour from an empty cup. I am the poster-child for attempting to do this. It does not work.
- DON’T LIVE IN THE PAST. The absolute surest way to lead an unhappy life is to live in the past. If the past is happy, you find yourself yearning for something you do not have now. If the past was sad, you are reliving some of your worst days.
- LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Take each day, hour, minute, second, for what it is! It’s fine to plan for the future, or learn from the past, but right now is RIGHT NOW!
- DON’T WORRY SO MUCH! This is another thing I consistently fail at. I always say that I prepare for the worst and hope for the best but honestly, I’m expecting the worst to happen constantly. (again, self-awareness)
- Mental health is just as important, if not more important, than your physical health. I think that if you’re in a bad mental state, it is going to affect your physical state. MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT TABOO, IT’S CRUCIAL!
- THERE IS NOTHING MORE VALUABLE THAN A GOOD THERAPIST. I know a lot of people frown upon seeking help, but honestly, there are just some things you CANNOT do alone. I am a huge advocate of counseling. I honestly wish I would have gone sooner.
- ACTIVELY LISTEN. I feel like a lot of times people (myself included) only listen to respond. We are not actually listening to the entire problem or issue. This can help avoid a lot of continuing disagreements.
- LOVE OPENLY. I don’t know why but I am a serious closet lover. This sounds super weird I know but it’s true. I think we love in the way that we are shown love as we grow up and learning to love someone in a different way is difficult.
- GIVE COMPLEMENTS! It can change a person’s entire day. So I have this problem where I have trouble outwardly expressing fondness? For example, if I like someones dress, I won’t tell them, I’ll just think it. I don’t know why it is so hard for me to pay a complement.
- DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. I always go back to this one with my daughter. For example, is it worth it for me to get upset because she’s knocked over the Lincoln log house I just built with her? Probably not.
- Don’t underestimate the power of CAR KARAOKE. I swear by it. Singing along to my favorite songs in the car is amazing therapy.
- STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. I struggle with this a lot. I think it goes back to me being a people-pleaser. I let a lot of people walk all over me until I get to the point where I feel like I’m going to explode. This is not healthy.
- Sometimes you just need to BE ALONE. I am constantly surrounded by people, at work and at home and sometimes I just need to be alone. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s just something you need sometimes.
- KNOW WHAT YOU NEED! I think this goes back to self-awareness. Being a people-please I often sacrifice my needs. At one point I sacrificed my needs so much I didn’t even know what I needed anymore. Hello therapist.
- DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE YOU! I am a nerd. I completely admit to it and I am proud to be a nerd. I love Harry Potter. I love reading. I love history. I love knowing a little but about a lot of things.
- STOP WASTING TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA/PHONE. I find myself guilty of mindlessly scrolling through Facebook or playing a stupid cell phone game. Yes, sometimes you just need to check out for a minute, but set a healthy time limit on these tasks. I need to work on this more.
- JUST BE KIND. You don’t know what another person is going through. Your kindness might be the only kindness they have experienced lately.
- STOP APOLOGIZING for things. Obviously if you were in the wrong definitely apologize, but if you’re not then don’t.
- YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONE ELSE’S HAPPINESS BUT YOUR OWN. It also holds true that no one else is responsible for your happiness.
- BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You know what you are capable of. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to?
- COMMUNICATE OPENLY AND HONESTLY. I don’t know how many times I have heard this or have preached it. Open and honest communication is the best choice in EVERY situation.
- LET YOUR HAIR DOWN. My husband says this to me all the time. I have always been a very responsible and mature person and I often forget to just have fun! It’s okay to be silly and laugh.
- Don’t be afraid to HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION. It’s not wrong to have a different opinion than someone else. This is what makes us each unique and beautiful.
- It’s called SELF CONFIDENCE for a reason, it comes from you, not from others.
Well that was a lot! As I re-read these, I am reminded of all of the trials i have gone through in the past 30 years that have taught me these valuable lessons. I hope to raise my daughter knowing these things so she doesn’t have to go through the same trials I have. That’s the ultimate goal in life though isn’t it? To raise your little ones to be better than you are. At least that’s my ultimate goal.
